What if you had a sex profile similar to a dating app? According to Dr. Donna Oriowo, a relationship and sex therapist, everyone has a sexual profile, as we are all sexual beings from birth to death, even if we don’t know where we stand about sexual wants yet. Although having a sexual profile may help to guide us to what we’d like to experience in the bedroom, having a sexual profile doesn’t mean that we all want and enjoy sexual activity. Still, more so, the purpose is for us to have an outline for how we engage sexually with ourselves and others or not. A sexual profile is like a personality profile but specifically considers your sexual needs, wants, and desires. “It can give a general or more thorough idea of how you engage sexually with yourself or others. And it can also change throughout your lifespan as you learn more about yourself and how you would like to engage with others,” says Dr. Oriowo to ESSENCE.
Gaining insight into what you prefer sexually is just one of the benefits of establishing your sexual profile. “The benefit of having a sexual profile is that you can gain more insight into what you are like sexually and where you might want to go. It could also be a communication tool between you and your partner(s). A sexual profile can feel validating or comforting as it can point out things you only know on the margins of your mind and bring them to the center,” Oriowo shares. So, how can you discover your sexual profile? Let’s talk about it! According to sexual health educator Breanna Lewis, A sexual profile is the act of processing information about oneself regarding a person’s awareness of themselves as a sexual being. “This can include a person’s sexual desires, sexual behaviors, sexual preferences, and sexual orientation. A person’s sexual profile can vary from person to person, and there is no designated or specific archetype of what a person’s sexual profile should look like,” Lewis shares.
Thus, it can be considered a customized journey of one’s sexuality and insights into oneself as a sexual being. Here’s how you can discover your sexual profile, according to Lewis.
Change your mindset.
Your sexual profile starts with transforming your mindset. This includes eliminating limiting beliefs and overcoming barriers that may hinder you from fully embracing your sexuality and the ability to experience pleasure. This is an important first step because your mindset can impact how you view and shape sexual desires, sexual behaviors, sexual preferences, and sexual identities. Once you shift your perspective, you are ready to connect to your body!
Connect with your body.
Body connection is critical to creating your sexual profile, including exploring your body to learn your desires, boundaries, and what turns you on. This doesn’t include the physical, either; the emotional and mental aspects of connecting to your body are equally important. Think about your desires and what turns you on, then write it down. Now, speaking of the physical realm of body connection, masturbation is a notable mention, but do it with a twist—explore your body with various techniques, rhythms, textures, and sensations to learn what brings you the most pleasure.
Continue the journey.
Now that you have assessed your sexual self mentally, emotionally, and physically, it’s time to embrace the journey. This includes genuinely getting comfortable with the self-discovery of your sexual profile and embracing the experience. Continue to learn about yourself through exploration and experimentation. This also includes communication with your sexual partners so that they can understand your sexual profile to prioritize your pleasure.
Now that you have done the work, you have identified your personal road map to pleasure to enhance your sexual fulfillment! Remember that your profile can change over time, and it’s okay to stay curious and continuously explore your wants, needs and desires as a sexual being. Use your sexual profile as your tour guide and embrace your pleasure journey!